Bipartisan bashing: The best late night jokes about the Democratic convention

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CBS “Late Show” host Stephen Colbert interviewing a cartoon character Hillary Clinton on Tuesday night. Asked by Colbert what she’d learned from her running mate, Tim Kaine, Cartoon Hillary said the Virginia senator and fluent Spanish speaker had taught her to say, “Where is my husband, Bill Clinton?” in Spanish. She added, “I’ve actually had to learn that in 14 different languages.” Photo credit: CBS

Turnabout’s fair play, folks.
Last week, the late night comics were lining up to take shots at the goings-on at the Republican National Convention (We rounded up some of the best lines for you here.)
Now it’s the Democrats’ turn. To convene in Philadelphia, where, on Tuesday night, they officially nominated Hillary Clinton as their party’s presidential candidate. And to take their turn on the late show rotisserie all week.
So far the themes that have emerged concern the historic nature of Clinton’s selection as the first female presidential candidate of a major American political party; Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders’ impassioned campaign — and at what the comedians’ deem such an advanced age (he turns 75 on Sept. 8); Michelle Obama’s wowzer of a speech Monday night (which also offered them another chance to take a few more swings at Melania Trump’s unintentional cribbing of the current first lady’s words last week); and, of course, the irresistible prospect of Bill Clinton going back to the White House, this time as the presidential spouse.

MORE: A late night host walks into a convention: The best jokes about the Republican convention so far

Here are some of the best one-liners and jokes so far:

“This means Hillary Clinton could be our first female president. And America will finally catch up with 1960s Sri Lanka.”
Stephen Colbert on CBS’s “The Late Show,” Tuesday
“Everything in this city is about men. It’s the ‘City of Brotherly Love.’ “Home of the Founding Fathers’ and Boyz to Men. Even the football team is the Eagles, which is the only bird that has male pattern baldness.”
Trevor Noah on Tuesday’s “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central, commenting on the irony of Clintons’ barrier-shattering nomination happening in Philadelphia

“Wow, it is rare when the comedian heckles the audience. I love Sarah and I’m glad she said something, because the Bernie supporters are known to respond positively to strong, independent women.”
Colbert, Monday, on Sarah Silverman’s telling her fellow Sanders supporters they were “being ridiculous” for continuing to fight against Clinton’s historic nomination
“Bernie’s speech kept being interrupted by applause. Bernie was like, ‘Please stop with the clapping, you’ll make the lights go on and off!’ Bernie said, “This election is about the future we create for our children and grandchildren.’ Bernie’s grandchildren were so touched, they immediately told their grandchildren.”
Jimmy Fallon, on NBC’s “Tonight Show,” Tuesday

“Bernie’s speech (endorsing Clinton) disappointed some of his most passionate supporters. I have not seen that many crying women since Bernie opened for the Beatles.”
Colbert, Monday

“Every time Hillary Clinton’s name was mentioned, there were boos from the Sanders supporters. Some of the people aren’t aware that Bernie passed away six weeks ago.”
Jimmy Kimmel, on ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Monday

“Did you hear the latest? They rigged it so Hillary would catch all the Pokemon.”
Fallon on the Democratic National Committee’s leaked emails scandal, Monday

“By the end, everyone was chanting, ‘I’m with her.’ Unfortunately for Hillary Clinton, it was for Michelle Obama.”
Fallon, Tuesday.

“I actually felt bad for the Republicans last night. Whatever your politics, you have to admit, they can’t bring the (convention) stars. They don’t have a Michelle Obama. They just have a Michelle Obama tribute act.”
Noah, Tuesday

“Michelle’s speech was so good, I want to hear it again. When is Melania doing it?”
Colbert, Monday.

“Bill Clinton was the major speaker of the evening. Of course, he strongly supported his wife to be president. And in a surprise move, he asked Melania Trump to be his first lady.”
Kimmel, Tuesday

“For tonight’s prime time spot, the Democrats brought out the big dog, the potential first ladies man, Bill Clinton. And that’s officially the name from now on: ‘First Ladies Man.’”
Colbert, Tuesday

Related: Make conventions great again! The best, most wacky ways states introduced themselves at the Republican National Convention

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